Improving Assertive Behavior
Direct,patagonia better sweater classic navy0 upfront not defensive or manipulative behavior. Those using assertive behavior confront problems, disagreement, or personal discomforts head on, and their intent is unmistakable to others.
Verbal I statements, where individuals tell others how they feel about a situation, circumstance or the behavior of others.
Taking the risk of being misunderstood as being aggressive, abrasive or attacking.
Being able to protect one s rights while protecting and respecting the rights of others.
Risk taking behavior that is not ruled by fear of rejection or disapproval, but is directed by the rational belief that I deserve to stand up for my rights.
Rational thinking and the self affirmation of personal worth, respect and rights.
A healthy style in which to conduct interpersonal relationships.
Finding a win win solution in handling problems between two individuals.
The you win and I lose solution is a passive solution where one individual gives up his rights to another. The you lose and I win solution is an aggressive solution where one individual ignores the rights of another in order to get his way. The you lose and I lose solution is a total passive solution where both individuals give up their rights. A healthy resolution is impossible. The you win and I win solutpatagonia better sweater classic navy3ion is an assertive solution where the rights of both parties are recognized, respected and utilized in reaching a heapatagonia down jacket special editionlthy compromise.
Ten Assertive Rights of an Individual
Assertive Right 1: I have the right to judge my own behavior, thoughts and emotions and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequence. The behavior of others may have an impact upon me, but I determine how I choose to react and/or deal with each situation. I alone have the power to judge and modify my thoughts, feelings and behavior. Others may influence my decision, but the final choice patagonia guide pants testis mine.
Assertive Right 2: I have the right to offer neither reason nor excuse to justify my behavior. I need not rely upon others to judge whether my actions are proper or correct. Others may state disagreement or disapproval, but I have the option to disregard their preferences or to work out a compromise. I may choose to respect their preferences and consequently modify my behavior. What ipatagonia downtown loft jacket reviews important is that it is my choice. Others may try to manipulate my behavior and feelings by demanding to know my reasons and by trying to persuade me that I am wrong, but I know that I am the ultimate judge.
Assertive Right 3: I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to others problems. I am ultimately responsible for my own psychological well being and happiness. I may feel concern and compassion and good will for others, but I am neither responsible for nor dodiscount patagonia ski jackets I have the ability to create mental patagonia better sweater classic navy2stability and happiness for others. My actions may have caused others problems indirectly; however, it is still their responsibility to come to patagonia specter reviewterms with the problems and to learn to cope on their own. If I fail to recognize this assertive right, others may choose to manipulate my thoughts and feelings by placing the blame for their problems on me.
Assertive Right 4: I have the right to change my mind. As a human bepatagonia outlet store 101ing, nothing in my life is necessarily constant or rigid. My interests and needs may well change with thpatagonia better sweater classic navye passage of time. The possibility of changing my mind is normal, healthy and conducive to self growth. Others may try to manipulate my choice by asking that I admit error or by stating that I am irresponsible; it is nevertheless unnecessary for me to justify my decision.
Assertive Right 5: I have the right to say I don t know.
Assertive Right 6: I have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them. To make a mistake is part of the human condition. Others may try to manipulate me, having me believe that my errors are unforgivable, that I must make amends for my wrongdoing by engaging in proper behavior. If I allow this, my future behavior will be influenced by my past mistakes, and my decisions will be controlled by the opinions of others.
Assertive Right 7: I have the right to be independent of the good will of others before coping with them. It would be unrealistic for me to expect others to approve of all my actions, regardless of their merit. If I were to assume that I required others goodwill before being able to cope with them effectivepatagonia everlong review queenly, I would leave myself open to manipulation. It is unlikely that I require the goodwill and/or cooperation of others in order to survive. A relationship does not require 100 percent agreement. It is inevitable that others will be hurt or offended by my behavior at times. I am responsible only to myself, and I can deal with periodic disapproval from others.
Assertive Right 8: I have the right to be illogical in making decisions. I sometimes employ logic as a reasoning process to assist me in making judgments. However, logic cannot predict what will happen in every situation. Logic is not much help in dealing with wants, motivations and feelings. Logic generally deals with black or white, all or none and yes or no issues. Logic and reasoning don t always work well when dealing with the gray areas of the human condition.
Assertive Right 9: I have the right to say I don t understand.
Assertive Right 10: I have the right to say I don t care.
Journal Exercise on 10 Assertive Rights
Answer the following questions in your journal. They are designed to help you assess your level of assertivenespatagonia guide pants that make you sweats.
A. How can I keep myself and others from being judgmental? Why is it so easy to judge another? How does my fear of judgment reduce my assertiveness?
B. Why do people demand a reason for others behavior? How does constant rationpatagonia hiking boots used by special forcesalizing and defending my behavior affect my relationshippatagonia better sweater classic navy1 with others?
C. How do I feel about being blamed for others problems? How fair is this? What is the usual outcome of such blaming?
