Kara Sundlun Talks About A Painful Road She Traveled To Establish A Relationship With Her Biological Father In New Book Dadpatagonia women&s better sweater vest grey2
For nearly half of her life, she was known as Kara Hewes. But WFSB personality Kara Sundlun, knew that wasn t who she was. In 1975, her then expectant and unwed mother, Judy, was abandoned by Sundlun s biological father, the late former Rhode Island governor and wealthy businessman Bruce Sundlun. Raised by her mother and adopted by her onetime stepfather, John Hewes, a 17 year old Sundlun (she legally took her father s name after the reconciliation, ) who had struggled with her identity, a childhood suicide attempt and counseling, finally decided to legally and very publicly force her biological father to acknowledge her as his daughter and pay her college costs. An out of court settlement started what would become a fairy tale like story of a father apatagonia pro purchase usand daughter reunited amidst a backdrop of Newport society, politics and celebrity. Sundlun s book Finding Dad: From Love Child To Daughter is the tale of a teenager s determination to establish a relationship with her father, and their eventual reconciliation and shared love and family. Featuring a forward by Sundlun friend, former WFSB personality and MSNBC s Morning Joe co anchor Mika Brzezinski, the book is scheduled to be released on Nov. 11, Veteran s Day, in part as a homage to Bruce Sundlun, a celebrated World War II bomber pilot who died in 2011. As Kara Sundlun, an Emmy Award winning television journalist and married mother of two prepares for the wave of press, critics and book signings related to her story, she first took time to Spill The Beans with Java.
WFSB Kara Sundlun s New Book Finding Dad: From Love Child to Daughter By Kara Sundlun To Be Released Nov. 11.
Finding Dad: From Love Child to Daughter By Kara Sundlun To Be Released Nov. 11.
Q: The whole story of suing your father became a sensationalized one picked up by all the media ranging from tabloids to entertainment TV. The demands, the fact he was a celebrity, the juicy back story on him leaving you and your mother and you coming out of nowhere to sue him, it wasn t pretty even though it had a happy ending. So why write the book rather than just let it lie?
A: People had suggested I write a book or have a movie made about our story. And inside, there was always a part of me that wanted to write it but I didn t know how I would find the time. But he was my dad and it was a story written for me and my dad. The intention was to let people know it is never too late to empower yourself, to make amends, to find forgiveness. I wanted estranged dads and those who aren t sure about finding their real parents to know it s worth the chance. I had faith and I knew I needed my dad and hoped someday he would understand how much that mattered to me.
Q: When did you find out who your dad really was?
A: I always knew from as far back as I can remember. He saw me as a baby once, but it wasn t until I was a teenager and saw him on television that I tried to reach out patagonia outlet store salt lake cityto him, to meet him. I finally met him when I was 17 after my mom hired an attorney, and in 1992 I finally met him.
Q: He was governor then and there would be some who say perhaps the lawsuit was a way to cash in on his success and fame. If he was on TV for being arrested instead of winning an election, would you still have wanted to reach out?
A: I think maybe. I had no idea what it was going to turn into. The fact that my father was successful and all of that was great but it is not what I was looking for. I yearned for a figure of stability and inside, I needed to know who the other half of me was. It topatagonia women&s better sweater vest greyok me years after seeing him on TV the first time to finally write to him. I can t imagine how all that would have felt if he were not someone so successful, but for me that was not the reason. Who did I look like, who did I act like, where did I get my curly hair, my identity was my reason.
Q: Was there an immediate rapport?
A: There had been struggles in my life, my stepfather and mother getting divorced, all the schools I went to. Once I began a relationship with my father, he became a force in my life, a good one. I chose better guypatagonia women&s better sweater vest grey0s, mwomen's patagonia storm jacket black large waterproof breathable new with tagade better choices and probably followed the career I did because of him. I was sent to counseling when I was a teenager because of a suicide attempt. I had a lot of healing to do and it was a journey I had to work at with him.
Q: Did he ever say I m sorry about leaving you and about all the angst that followed until you two reconciled?
A: It wasn t a big long story like, I am sorry and this is why. It was more about moments. I don t think he showed his soft side much and according to my brothers, (Sundlun has half brothers from one of her father s five marriages) I was the daughter who could bring it out in him. He didn t ever say I m sorry in a maudlin way. Once I spent that first summer with him in Newport and we began to build a relationship, he would call several times a day. After I said I love you to him when we were finishing a phone call or saying goodbye, he started to say it. I remember I didn t care so much about things he could give me, but wanted a relationship he backed up with actions. When I spent the first summer in Newport with him he said there was no magic wand to make it all better but that we were going to make it work. And while it was a life like I had never known, what he did was better than mansions and parties and shopping trips and beach clubs. Moments like sitting on the couch with him at night and talking while eating cookies, being so concerned when I had my miscarriage, having him come to my daughter s first birthday, or giving my son a bottle, those were the moments that were priceless. I had never had that with him when I was growing up.
Q: What was the moment when you said yes, it s right now?
A: Our wedding. (Sundlun, who legally changed her last name topatagonia expedition race new york her father s, married WFSB anchor Dennis House in Newport in 2003) At the wedding reception he made it right with my mom by giving her all the credit for raising me. It was definitely an acknowledgment of her. And the first time I celebrated a Father s Day with him and gave him a gift. That was a very special moment.
Q: Do you ever wonder if his embracing you as part of the out of court settlement had something to do with his political ambition then?
A: I asked his aides why he decided to work at a relationship that first year. He told me he wanted to learn about me. I don t think it had anything to do with saving face or avoiding a scandal. I think legally he knew he had a responsibility to me. He brought me into his family. He could have just written a check and sent me away but he didn t. I think eventually, I made him feel safe with his feelings. Life together ended up beingpatagonia women&s better sweater vest grey1 a big do over. I wanted a repatagonia fleece best valuelationship with my father, but I believed it was going to work out. I had faith but I wasn t going to be a fool.
Q: How will you explain this story to your own daughter someday?
A: None of us would want our daughter to be where my mother was then. To me the story and whpatagonia guide jacket galaxyy I wrote it is testament to what you can do, where you can go and that forgiveness is the most important thing there is. When my father said I want you in my life I could have said no I don t trust you but inside I knew I have to be different than my mom. Making my choice about my dad was my biggest gift to myself. It allowed us to have those moments and experiences and to heal. I want my kids to know there is always the opportunity to give and to heal and to forgive. That it s never too late.
Q: How does your mother feel about the book?
A: She read it first and helped me with some of the things I dipatagonia guide pants girdlesdn t remember. She patagonia guide pants here comeis proud and hopes this book will help other people. Writing the book was therapeutic for me. Connecting with him meant I had a whole new world to figure out. I not only wanted to please him but I wanted to fit into his world. We had a lpatagonia women&s better sweater vest grey3ot to cram into the time we had left together. I will always wish the beginning of the story was different but I absolutely have forgiven it all. Love beats fear. I could love him in a way my mom could not. And even with the bad parts of the story, I feel like maybe that was the way it was meant to happen, that there is this divine order. I m not sure I didn t realize all that was missing from my life until he showed up. I am grateful to my mother because when she got pregnant wpatagonia luggage wholesaleith me, it was a time when she could have easily ended it but she didn t. I was meant to be.
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